Two sides of a story

I would like to share a story with you; this story is a scriptural one and I would relate it verbatim so you may find maximum benefit by God’s Grace.

This is a story of Prophet David (May the blessings of God be upon him) and two men that lived in his time. He was invited to resolve their dispute and the story according to the scriptures is below

“Be patient with what they say, and remember Our slave Da’wud, lord of might – surely he was always turning in repentance (to Allah).

“Surely We subdued the mountains to glorify (Allah) with him at nightfall and at sunrise – and also the birds gathered together – all of them turned to Him in praise.

“And We made his kingdom strong, and We gave him wisdom and sound judgement.

“And have you heard the account of the litigants – how they climbed over the wall of the citadel and came in to Da’wud, frightening him, and they said, ‘Do not be afraid – we are two litigants, one of whom has wronged the other, so judge between us with truth, and do not be unjust, and guide us to the right way:

“‘Surely this brother of mine had ninety-nine ewes, and I had one ewe, and he said, “Let me look after her,” – and his proposal got the better of me.’

“He (Da’wud) said, ‘He has indeed wronged you by asking for your ewe in addition to his ewes, and surely many of those who bargain together certainly wrong each other, except for those who believe and do good – and how few they are!’

“And Da’wud thought that We had surely been testing him, so he asked his Lord for forgiveness and fell down, bowing – and he repented.

“And so We forgave him that – and surely he certainly has a near place in our presence and a good destiny.

“(And Allah said), ‘O Da’wud, surely We have chosen you as a khalif in the earth, so judge between people in with truth, and do not follow any desire that may lead you away from the way of Allah – surely those who go astray from the way of Allah will have an intense punishment because they forgot about the Day of Reckoning.'”

(Al-Qur’an 38:17-26)

Reading the story from time to time I have had different kinds of reflections however I was guided to this reflection today;

Even the highly favoured make errors in judgement. Dawuud was elevated in the sight of God yet he made errors in judging between the dispute because he didn’t listen to both sides.

I also see that the one who seems to be aggrieved might actually be the defaulter however we went know this if we don’tlisten to both sides so we have to be open to listening to both sides with empathy and justice.

This brings me to my write up. We are at times where there is so much discord and the danger of acting impulsively is on a high.

There is a huge burden of discord in all kinds of relationships and though technology was supposed to bring us all closer together, it is sadly being used to promote evil and public shaming.

When I see people go on social media to write about matters they ought to have settled with some tact, I honestly struggle to retain respect for such individuals. Anyone with a heightened sense of respect for themselves would know better than to drag each other out on social media which is as public as it can get but then again that is my opinion and this post isn’t intended for that.

I have brought the story of Dawuud (alayhi salam) to serve as an example and a guide for us all to approach settling discord or intervening in discord with caution so we get the full benefits and rewards guaranteed for those who bring about peace and love in the world around them.

Too many times we judge people and situations based on affiliations or closeness to a certain party. This Close Friend X tells you what transpired and you also know Person R but you jump into Superman gear and you go on a rescuing mission for Close Friend X when in truth the one who you truly need to save is the Person R whose honor and rights has been trampled upon because Close Friend X knows there is no love lost between you guys thus milking the situation to their advantage. Sometimes you might even have some relationship with Person R however you let emotions prevent you from asking for the other side even when you have the ability to do so.

Again it is important to state that the majority stance isn’t always the right stance. There are times when there are 10 people to 1 on an issue and person 1 is the right one and all 10 are upon misguiance and are in fact oppressing person 1 because they have loyalty to one of their pack or because they are more comfortable with the person they are supporting when in fact the person 1 as weird as he/she might act is actually the one being repeatedly wronged.

People tend to judge others from their model of the world and label anyone who isn’t conforming to their norm or doing what I call “sucking up”.

To improve on this unfair treatment being passed around, we can adopt a few practices which I hope would assist us to be more just in judging and assist us to actually mend fences between two differing parties rather than complicate things.

1. Listen to BOTH SIDES with an open mind and in the invent you won’t be able to access the second side of the story, give excuses for the person.

To many times we rescue the tyrant and hurt the already injured and if our society is going to heal, we are going to need to do better here.

Oh, and the fact that one person is crying as she’s narrating her side doesn’t mean she is the one who is wronged, there are some rather manipulative people out there.

2. Be just in admonishing even if the one who has wronged the other is closer to you in relation or status.

We are advised to speak the truth even if it’s against our family for the true love we can gift them in this world is the gift of sincerity. If we cannot call them out lovingly yet firmly how can we ever look them in the face and say we love them? Isn’t the love and friendship deserving of sincere advice and admonition?

3. Be quick to apologising and retracing our steps when we realise that we have taken a wrong stance and hurt the other person by faulting them and speaking badly about them for something they ought to have been compensated for. If only we can be more concerned about what Our Lord thinks of us than what people think of us, we would be more willing and open about admitting our wrongs and making amends as quickly as possible

Everyone of us is going to die. It is not a question of if, it is only a question of when and the only way we keep living after death is by living our footsteps in the hearts of people.

Some of those who have had lasting impressions in the hearts and minds of others didn’t get there by being perfect and fault free; they achieved such high status and were remembered lovingly because they were brave enough to acknowledge their errors and make amends especially when they wronged others. They were courageous enough to face up to their faults and ego, acknowledge their errors and sincerely repent.

A person who has gained self mastery isn’t one who is perfect all round; he/she is that person who constantly evolves, grows and improves themselves every single day because they fully understand that to be human is to make mistakes and to have shortcomings is to constantly evolve and strive to live better and be better  every single day.

If you found this beneficial then kindly share so we can start to heal our homes and communities, one word at a time, one step at a time.

Any good in this piece was inspired and any errors is from me and I ask that my errors be overlooked and I hope this causes many relationships to heal or at least improve.

With Love,

Aishah Adams

The Mind Doctor 💛⚘