Some months ago, I was consulting with a client who was tired, frustrated, and heartbroken. “Why do my relationships keep failing?” she asked. “I give so much, but it never seems to be enough.”

As she spoke, a little voice in my head whispered, “Story of my life.” But I quickly shut it down to focus on her situation. What was really happening here?

As we dove deeper, we uncovered a pattern that felt all too familiar. My client thought her communication was clear, but there was often a gap between her intent and what her...